melissarobinson

7:45   protein shake EAS

9:45 (post workout)  protein powder and skim milk

12:00   Weight Watchers chicken/brocolli pasta

1:00  2 oatmeal/yogurt/splenda/raisin homemade bars  (one inch bars,  they are pretty small and totally healthy, and don’t tase TOO bad lol)

4:00  2 Oatmeal/yogurt/splenda raisin bars,   3 egg whites

 7:00   chicken breast,  1/2 cup black beans,  veggie medly

 EXERCISE:   66 minutes eliptical,   17 minutes treadmill,   weights:  shoulders, and triceps!

water:  75 ounces

Noon:   Weight Watchers meal

3:00  Oranic whole grain and oat cereal  w/ skim milk

6:00   baked chicken nuggets (4)  peanut butter and jelly on whole wheat

9:00 black beans with dash of low fat cheese,  handful of caramels  (bleh I suck)

WHY OH WHY is it sooo hard to lose weight, but so easy to gain?   Why is it that your body can only lose 1 - 2 pounds a week *HEALTHILY* but you can freakin gain two pounds OVER FREAKIN NIGHT??????   wahhhhh.   Mondays are supposed to be “official  weigh days,  so I weighed myself this morning (( okay so i weighed myself several times through out the week too )) and I was the exact same weight.  252.   Now i know thats the same as my *starting weight* however,  by  thursday and friday i’d actually lost 2 pounds,  so i actually GAINED them back.   ALL WITH IN A WEEK!!!!   I didn’t gain them back till “free meal” where I had pizza and desert pizza.   THAT SUCKS.  THAT SUCKS THAT WITH ONE MEAL YOU CAN GAIN 2 POUNDS.   I mean,  its not like with one meal you can LOSE 2 POUNDS!!!!!    you can’t eat some grilled chicken,  broccoli, and 1/2 cup barley and LOSING STINKIN 2 POUNDS, so how in the world can one meal of pizza make you gain 2 POUNDS OVER NIGHT?!?!?!?!?!!?!?    no fair, no fair, no far.

jeeze the injustice of it all.  I just don’t understand.  I’ve lost weight before (never kept it up, but i’ve done it before) and the first week i alaways lost atleast 7 pounds and then a couple pounds the next week.   This time,  I can NOT get the scale to go below 252.  I DON’T GET IT.    Even if I hadn’t changed my eating habits at all……Im going to the gym practically 2 times a day!  How could that not help me lose a little.  Then to modify my eating on top of that ~ granted its not perfect, but its better than i was doing before the “start” of all this!

Ugh

bleh

poop

he he,  Hope you all are having more success than I am!

So,  I don’t even know if I’ll actually post this blog when im done, or not lol.   Im pretty much BORED to tears, and thought well gee I can rant on a blog.   Im thinking about friends.   Why is it so hard to make new friends?   I dont’ know for anyone else, but for me, the opportunity just never arrises.  Plus, im picky about friends, well thats not true.  I love being friends with anyone who wants to be friends with me,  but what im really craving right now is one of those kinds of friends that you can TOTALLY relax around, vent to, complain, whine, and what ever other totally lame and reviling thing to do ( ha ha) and be totally confident taht they know you enough to know your just having a down moment.   That it will pass.    That friend that you have no reservasations about inviting over to your house even though there is a sink of dishes and a pile of dirty clothes.   The kind you can sit and DO NOTHING with but blab and before you know it 2 hours has passed.

Right now for me, it seems so hard to have friends.   My best friend, and my sister ~ my two closest friends in the whole wide world ~ live in the United States.     My BFF has been friends with me for oh about TWENTY YEARS!!!!   now if that doesnt’ make me feel old!!!!!    So for 20 years we have this “history” that well lets face it,  thats hard to beat or compare to.   I mean, no matter what friend i  could “meet” now,   you could never make up for all that time.   My sister, who i’ve known for what 28 years now  (wowowowowowsa she is getting OLD hahahaha)  knows me pretty well too.    I have a few friends around here on post,  and I love them and consider them good friends, but the “level” of comfort is just NOT the same.   I wish i could find a “good friend” here that I could feel that “level” of comfort with,  but dont’ see that ever happening.   i mean, its not like friends just show up at your door LOL.   Then when i DO get in the position of meeting a new friend, I usually don’t “feel like it” at that moment.  YOu know, i dont’ feel like making the effort.   Cause it can be a lot of hard work to have friends ships.   but I dont’ mean that in a BAD WAY.   Just ……………….he he just philisophical today I guess.   Still trying to decide if I’m actually going to POST this or not hahahahahahaha.

I really just wish i knew how to not feel so lonely.   And also how to not want to eat a candy bar cause I feel so lonely.   Why oh WHY could i not just want to go clean and organize something lol or do a load of laundry, God knows I got PLENTY O THAT>

I wish I would have ONE visitor while I was here in Tim Buck Too.   EVERY SINGLE friend of mine has had people visit.   ((((shhh if you listen raelly closely you can hear my violin!)))   he he I totally understand that its tooo expensive for anyone to come here, i totally do, but it still kinda blows when my friends family comes to visit.  Mostly cause then they are busy with their families so im for REALS all alone.    But also cause it makes me wish my family could come too.   i can’t wait WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT to move to america!

okay well hopefully this is the end of my rant.   Will I hit post…………………..or will I jsut delete it!?!?!?!?!!  That is the question…………………..

howdy

so yesterdays food log went a little somethin like this…………………..(( oh and keep in mind that dinner was a PLANNED FREE MEAL))

9 am   Kashi Go Lean with blueberrys an skim milk

12:00    light popcorn

3:00   chicken an tatertots  (bad bad tatertots, i know :0(

6:00 ~~ homemade BBQ chicken pizza with bell peppers and oniions

8:00   desert pizza

WATER   64 ounces

Exercise NONE  ……………but i am going to the gym tomorow.   I have to be able to find a sitter to go to the gym and i’ve not had one the last two days wahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Okay so here’s yesterdays……….

11:00   chicken, potatoes,  1/2 biscuit

1:30   crappy blended coffee drink from the place on post,  very expensive and DEFINATLEY not worth the slip in calories,  I WON”T be doing that again.

4:00  bowl organice cereal and blueberries

4:45   two cookies   (wahhhh oh wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh why do i do that!)

9:00  pizza  (mine was W.W but I had NO BUSINESS eating at 9 pm , but was starving.  I sooo had a bad day)

Water…………..  booo hoooo maybe 40 ounces

exercise………..NONE……………..MORE BOOOO HOOOOOOO

hahaha atleast im being honest on these food logs.  I’ve tried making foodlogs in the past, but would just not complete them if I messed up at all.   Which,  makes it POINTLESS,  so this time im trying to be extremely honest.   Then you have it staring back in your face.   It does help a little if you KNOW your going to be HONEST and write down what you eat, cause than you catch yourself going “hmm how will this sound on my food log”  he he he

Well hopefully better day tomorow.

Hey hey Hey!!!!!    Happy Valentines Day!    Mine was OK.   Course it would have been really nice to get an email from my husband today, but atleast I got a valentines from my kids.   (( I hope all you who have your “sweet others”  at home really appreciate it!!!!))

So today:

Meal 1:  one strawberry cookie  (not so great, but just one and it was small so it could have really been worse)

Meal 2:  scrambled egg whites,  bell peppers, onions,  potatoes,  tangerine

meal 3:  Weight Watchers Pizza

Meal 4:  Reeses peanut butter egg  (GRRRrrrrrrrrrRRRR)

Meal 5:  whole wheat tortilla,  grilled chicken,  low fat cheddar cheese

85 Ounces water

AM  35 minutes elliptical,  upper body work out,  15 more minutes elliptical

PM   35 minutes elliptical    5 minutes treadmill,   lower body work out

So,  the day is done and it wasn’t very good, but tomorow is a new day.  It seems like i say that too much, but all i can do is keep tryin right?    your dyin if you aint tryin?     Kinda missin my valentine today, I hope he knows were thinking about him.   Well darn do i hope tomorow is better!    Tomorow luke goes to “pre school” for 2 hours  (( its really daycare, but he has to start kindergarten in sept and he has never been away from me, so im just trying to prepare him, so far he seems excited))   Hopefully I will get my house clean tomorow.   I can’t go to the gym tomorow because its a holiday and the kids are out of school, and my sitter only babysits on days the kids are in schoool, and the gym closes @ 6PM so Jessica can’t go with me after her work.   SOOooo I’ll be trying out my new “biggest loswer work out DV” i bought he he gotta do SOMETHING right?   If its not raining we’ll be going for a walk too.  

Okay, so we have a fresh start today.   Its first thing in the morning right now, and I haven’t even started yet, so the possibilites are all still there to have an awesome day!!!   I have to go drop the boys off at school and then Im going to come home and make a scrambeled eggwhite breakfast burrito in a whole wheat tortilla.   That sounds like a plan huh?   Soooo I think im goint to take today off the gym.   Honest to God,  Im getting addicted to that place ~ so Im NOT trying to just “skip”    I feel like my body just needs a “rest” day.   I go to the gym about twice every day, and I think I verged on overdoing it yesterday.   I should have listened to my body instead of being stubborn and insisting on finishing the tread climber.    I don’t feel sore today, mostly like my legs are not my own,  like im stuck sitting in this chair cause i have no legs, and i just feel that “weak” feeling like after you’ve been really sick.   Last time I felt like this I just took a break from the gym for one day, and  DID I EVER have the best work out the next day and felt so strong.   Anyhoo, I know it sounds like I’m just justifying missing a days work outs………..and who knows maybe I am, but I just don’t want to be negating all my hard work by going if my body is trying to tell me it needs one day of rest.   Okay im going to do my stuff now, I”ll be back later to add the rest of the day!     WOOO WOOO I hope we all have GREAT days today.   Tomorow is Valentines day!   Course :0(   My valentine is in a very bad place, but I will still be thinking about him :0)   I hope we all remember to pray for the troops and those fighting in far and away lands to preserve our way of life here in the GOOD OLE USA!   (( lol i promise im going now))

Okay  Here is my menu for today………………………………………

8:45  cottage cheese and fresh fruit

11:30   whole wheat and turkey breast with spinach, cucumbers, olives

3:00  Weight Watchers key lime

6:00   Weight Watchers tuna noodle casserole

8:30   turkey w/veggies

WATER:   oh,  about 64 ounces  ( will do better tomorow :0(

Exercise……….NONE it was break day wednesday, tomorow is back to reg business…………………..

bleh.   I feel like there is so much I could improve on, but im trying really hard not to get too down on myself.

OH well today was bitter sweet…………………..

Meal 1:   EAS protein shake (light)

Meal 2:   Chicken lean cuisine

Meal 3:  peanut butter and jelly sandwhich

Meal 4:  “cheat meal”   :0(    I hoping not to succomb, but we had an FRG meeting and had to make food,  and I was starving and there was only pasta and garlic bread and stuff.  

Exercise:  am  40 elliptical;   upper body work out

                 pm   20 elliptical,  20 minute treat climber

Water:  over 100 Ounces YEAHHHHHH!

sooooo im bummed about dinner tonite.   But after going to the gym,  showering,  running errands, picking kids up from school, doing homework,  going to the gym,  hurrying up and changing  (no time for even a shower!) and going to the FRG meeting.   I WAS STARVING!!!!!!    It was “lack of planning” i believe.   With all the workin out im doing i was just so hungry today.    BETTER PLANNING TOMOROW!!!!!!!!